Today is my favorite day of the month - when Adrian the fabulous cleaning guy dusts, sweeps and mops our little apartment into shiny lemon-smelling perfection, while Heron and I relax to the sounds of scrubbing and Adrian's favorite easy-listening R&B station. (Though the fact that I will forever connect Marvin Gaye and antiseptic cleaner is a little weird.)
Not that I fritter away this time surfing the internet - when you have someone in your home who actually cleans the overhead light fixtures, you feel the need to accomplish things. So today's important task is to continue the overhaul of my wardrobe. Right now, the contents of my closet are kind of uneven - I have days when I'm pulled together and professional, but also days when I try to figure out how close I can stay to pajamas and still squeak by the office dress code.
(I have supercomfy loose pants for the second purpose - cut like PJ pants, but from Brooks Brothers and therefore obviously professional. But still kinda look like PJ pants...)
I've decided to apply my project management skills to this issue. I've identified my business needs (pulled-together looks I can achieve in the dark before I'm fully awake) and I'm compiling a notebook of best practices (or magazine clippings entitled "What Works Best for a Big Behind"). I've set wardrobe parameters (separates: "tailored and classic with an element of funky"; shoes: "walkable yet eliciting envy from coworkers") - basically, my hope is if I fill my closet with hip and flattering clothing, I can pull clothes at random and still look good. And if I plan my shopping beforehand, I will end the never-ending cycle of desperately purchasing items to fill wardrobe gaps, only to dump said item 6mos later because it is hideously unsuitable.
(Actually, many items get donated because of mysterous food stains the drycleaner can't remove. So will attempt to weight wardrobe towards darker colors...)
Yesterday I tested my new methods on an actual shopping trip.
Stepped into a cute little French boutique (for unique, flattering tops)... and found they didn't stock above a size small. Hmph... Obviously yet another example of French sizism.
Express is no longer my friend - it has, in fact, been completely deleted off my list. Suffice to say, clothes which appeared tailored, chic and (most importantly) work appropriate on the website... turned out to be more Jessica Simpson-esque in the changing room. While J-Simp obviously has many talents - singing, tabloid-worthy relationships and the ability to fit into Daisy Dukes - she's not really one of my style icons. And what's with the insane difference between medium and large?! My barely B-cup breasts were busting out of the medium, while the large hung off of me like a potato sack. Lovely.
JCrew... while I love your sweaters and the oxfords are appropriately lean-cut without unsightly button-straining (ahem... Express)... this rumpled thing is going too far. When you're asking $30 for a t-shirt, is it too much to assume you might actually, you know, fold them? The whole bargain-bin atmosphere is a little too much TJ Maxx for me to take - so I think it's best for our relationship if I stick to the catalog from now on.
Our last stop was Kenneth Cole... where I was supporting Heron through a period of inner struggle (his Asian heritage was unable to fathom spending a $200 gift certificate without getting at least 6 items in return... and right, we were at Kenneth Cole). While Heron suffered with 3-digit price tags, I scanned the shoe section... and found these gorgeous Italian-leather burgundy pumps (with the all-important ankle strap, and therefore very practical for my narrow feet) on sale for $99. People - Kenneth Cole does not sell shoes in the 2-digit range, so of course it would be criminal not to at least try them on. And once I had them on, and they looked all sexy executive, yet walkable with the ankle strap and wide-toe... well, what can I say? They definitely fit the established parameters.
And I was rewarded for taking a chance, since at the register the shoes rung up for $40. I'm taking this as a sign that the gods favor my new plan.
(Though, this does explain why the salesguy looked at me weird when I said I couldn't afford the brown pair as well. But I didn't really need the shoes in two different colors... so it's all for the best, really...)
(Even though we are talking Italian leather pumps on insane sale. But I should definitely at least take these for a test run before committing to two pairs.)
(I'm going back to Kenneth Cole tomorrow, aren't I?)
It's ok that you feel envious of my superior footwear... it was part of the plan. Did I mention they were on supersale?
And how talented am I to take pictures of my own feet without falling over?!
Oh my god I love those shoes. Adorable!!!!!! But those ankle straps are always a big no for my feet - they cut into my ankles when I walk! Am envious they work for you cuz they are HOTT.
Posted by: for Joke! | March 27, 2006 at 05:37 AM